After more than two years of hibernation, I am finally reviving this blog.  Thanks to the first ever Senior High School students for inspiring me to write again.  Their coordinator and teacher Sir Benny had encouraged them to create personal blogs to showcase their skills in writing, as part of their Core Subject Reading and Writing.  Now, I have been spending my free time browsing through and reading what’s in their heads (and hearts).

I could never be happier.  Although not perfect (YET), just the mere fact that these kids are writing is such a big leap.  What a great way to use technology!  It is refreshing to read essays and longer personal accounts by students in this age when we are so used to one-liner statuses and compressed tweets that usually mean nonsense.  From tweets and status to essays.  From Facebook to Blog.  Now, isn’t this Growth Mindset?

Making blogs as one of the performance tasks is genius.  This is authentic assessment at its best.  The progress of a student with regards to his skill in writing, in composing sentences, in choosing words, is demonstrated article per article.  And since blogs are saved on the world wide web, one can always go back to it anytime, like an electronic portfolio of some sort. Furthermore, it being public, with a feature where other people can see and comment, excites and motivates the writers to do better and not publish work that they are not proud of.

I have proudly put a link of the Senior High School students’ blogs to this page under “Kings’ Blogs”.  Join me as I get to know them and explore their world through their words.

Last night, the house lit up with pure delight when, in front of everyone else, my J.nna giggled heartily for the first time. Lolo was dangling in her face a carrot bread when it happened. Was my baby really that hungry? I wouldn’t know. But what was clear to me was to never trust an overly proud father with a camera to document any important event like this. In his excitement, my dear husband pressed the record button twice, meaning he pressed “record” once; and then pressed “pause” immediately right after. Hence, goodbye Kodak moment.

Parents would always want to be there for any of their child’s milestones. And take note, capture the moment. In the early months, they want to witness the first smile, first laugh, first bath, first step, first words and first anything. In kindergarten, after bringing the kids to school, parents silently wish they could stay to see how their child is interacting inside the classroom. Some even discreetly spy through the window. They attend important events like Recognition Day, Graduation Day and other school activities, taking hundreds of pictures with the same faces, same smiles, same people and same poses, with only the background changing.

As children grow much older, things change. The things parents want to know more about, are the things the children want to hide more about. Crushes. Temptations. Report Cards. Dates. Dilemmas. Peer pressure. Bullying. Fights. First love. Dates. Tears. Feelings.

Capturing the moment suddenly becomes more complicated. It is no longer just a matter of attending an event or taking a picture. Now, parents begin to find out his child’s “milestones” through the teacher, a friend of a friend, a call from the Principal’s Office, a neighbor, a diary left lying at home, a note inserted in a book, a mis-sent text message… And the list goes on…

Because whether parents like it or not, children grow up and live their own lives. No matter how close we are to our kids, we just can’t know everything. The days and hours we spend with them is not a guarantee that they will choose the path we wish for them. We can never be certain of their thoughts and actions. No matter how hard we hope.

So what happens to capturing the moments? Sometimes we have to accept that it will come a time that we may no longer belong to those moments.

I am six months pregnant with my first baby.  At my age, I consider it a blessing.  I am very happy and proud, but at the same time, worried and terrified.  During my first trimester, the most delicate stage, I felt nervous being with weird-looking people fearing that my baby will turn out the same.  I was careful with my diet because eating the wrong food might be bad for her.  When my tummy was getting bigger, I worry that if I bend, I would break my baby’s foot or neck.  It went for weeks until a friend literally shook me and put back some sense in me.  I argued, Who can blame me?  I just wanted everything to be perfect.  At that moment, the images of particular parents and scenarios in school formed in my head. Realization!  I have the makings of an overprotective parent!

I have been immersed in school for a long time to know that one of the “illnesses” of parents is over protectiveness. Being protective of our offspring is in our nature – even animals, when they sense that their babies are to be harmed will spew fury regardless of the situation.

Why do parents have the tendency to overprotect?  Naturally, no parent wants to see his children suffer physical and emotional pain, nor see him fail.  Parents fear and worry and dream about good things for their children; and when there comes a teeny bit of indication that things are not going the way they want it, they meddle and stick their noses in all aspect of the child’s life. This is where conflict comes in.

Where do we draw the line between supporting our children and overly protecting them?

According to Harvard psychologist Jerome Kagan, what creates anxious children is parents hovering and protecting them from stressful experiences. He found that infants tended to cope better with life, and had a more positive outlook, if their parents gave them freedom to do, think, and make mistakes on their own.  Michael Liebowitz, clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, backed this up by saying that he believes parents can have well-adjusted children if they take the time to gently encourage their children to try new things, even if they are scared, so they can learn that nothing bad will happen.

Here are the other negative effects of over-protectiveness:

1. Undermining children’s confidence in their own abilities to take care of themselves and get things done;
2. Instilling fear of failure such that they are denied the chance to learn how to persevere while standing on their own feet;
3. Stunting growth and development—in fact, studies have shown that these children lack some of the knowledge to negotiate what they need, solve their own problems, stay safe, and interact in close quarters with others;
4. Inability to launch because they’re unsure of their passion, their own direction, and what to do next, if it means doing it on their own;
5. Raising parental anxiety levels—research has shown that parents who consistently judge their own self worth by their children’s success report feeling more sad and having a more negative self image than parents who did not engage in this behavior.

So what now? Parents should try a bit harder to control the strong parental instinct that could create negative results.  Parents will always be there to care and worry for their children; but giving a child enough room to grow and discover himself is a much harder feat.

My vow?  Three months longer before becoming a real mother, I will try my best to calm down and not make a fuss over everything that concerns my child.  For starters, I can start by not being too hard on myself – one bite of chocolate, one sip of coffee, and occasional night-out with friends… This time, I’ll let the husband do the worrying.

Sources:

http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/helicopter-parents-helpful-or-harmful/

http://www.netplaces.com/parenting-kids-with-anxiety

The school year is ending.  March is the month of final exams, completion of requirements, closing programs, recognition and graduation ceremonies. Like the students, who take on different journeys, sometimes, teachers too set out to new adventures.  This is the time of the year when teachers are faced with a decision – to stay or to go.

For years, I have encountered many teachers who had expressed their intention to go.  Everyone had a story to tell. Some were happy and grateful.  Some felt too awkward. Some were on the verge of tears.  And there were also those who just left without a word.

More often than not, the decision is not easy. (And this goes, not just to teachers, but to all other employees.) Those who decide to go, do so because of varied reasons – change of residence, family issues, conflict in the work place, personal fulfillment, salary and movement to a better employment. What is the common factor? There is a need that is not fulfilled.

Does this mean those who stay have all of their needs fulfilled? Not necessarily.  But somehow, they find something that overrules the many other reasons. Call it love for work, call it passion, call it loyalty, or call it by any other name… it is the anchor that keeps them at peace even when the water stirs its occasional turbulence.

Through one’s journey, a teacher realizes if she is meant to be a teacher or if she is meant to be where she is. That is why when a teacher leaves, I convince myself that it is not a total loss.  The teacher is finally free to run a path that she thinks she needs – to discover, grow, and to find that which will fill the void. The school, on the other hand, is energized by new blood, a new spirit and a heart that is not half-hearted.  For what kind of a healthy relationship is it if the other one is (to quote Christina Rosseti) “turning half to go, yet turning stay”?

I have always said that the relationship of a teacher and the school is like falling in love. It is not a one-way street.  Both get the chance and time to get to know and learn from each other.  Both test each other and try to figure out if they belong together.  And if they don’t, there goes the inevitable break-up.

Like any other break up, for a second, there’s panic! The management gropes for a replacement, kids cry out as they lose their second mom (or dad), parents seek for the familiar confidant. Fortunately, like any other break up, it gets better. Eventually things go back the way it was. The teacher moves on. The school goes on.

When teachers go, we lose some, we gain some more.  It’s just how the cookie crumbles.

The nation was shocked and saddened when news broke out about a young student who was hit by a bus during a Field Trip.  It was supposedly a happy day for the student; she was simply enjoying the sights and taking picture.  It was supposedly a good working day for the driver; he thought he was just doing his job.

Now, there is a buzz that the Department of Education is being pressured by different sectors to ban field trips altogether.  Is this a good move?  I personally don’t agree.   Educational Field Trips are windows to learning, if planned and implemented well. Although most teaching and learning (lectures, notes, seatwork, reporting, exam) are done inside the classroom, this is not enough.  Some important, practical and memorable insights may happen outside of the campus.  For instance, a local Field Trip to a nearby bank hooked one of my Grade 2 pupils to regularly deposit money for his savings, after his Math Club teacher brought the class to teach them to open an account.  Another example is when a Korean student approached me teary-eyed after watching the Light and Sound Show in the Malinta Tunnel in Corregidor, telling me that finally she understood Philippine History.

The possibilities to learning are endless. To the pessimists however, the possibilities of dangers are endless as well.  What if there’s a storm?  What if they get stranded?  What if my child gets lost? What if there’s an accident?  And so on.  There will always be risks to be taken.  The job of the educators is be aware of these risks to be able to prevent and handle possible scenarios.  Here are some things to do before a Field Trip.

1. Plan the Field Trip well.  Ensure that the field trip is indeed educational.  Plan for venues that will really give your students utmost learning experience.  Let them be able to connect it with the lessons being discussed in class.  Museums, science centers and theaters are usually the top picks.
2. Do Ocular Visit.  It is not enough to look for venues in the internet and immediately decide, This is good.  It should be a requirement that a teacher or a school representative conduct an ocular visit prior to the trip, so that immediately the school sees its appropriateness, distance, convenience and safety.
3. Sit down with transportation operators.  The school should meet with the bus operators and drivers to talk about itinerary, destination and safety.  A contract should be drafted which would include guidelines, reminders and proper behavior of their drivers.  Even the speed limit should be stipulated.
4. Check the weather.  Storm/rain warnings should be noted.  The school should have special arrangements with the Field Trip venues (for reimbursement, consideration, etc.) in case the trip is cancelled due to bad weather.
5. Assign able proctors.  There should be enough proctors – teachers, staff, security guards, nurse – present during the Field Trip.  Each proctor should have students under her/his care which he/she will monitor regularly and be with constantly.
6. Assign buddies.  Students should also be assigned buddies.  A student should not go anywhere or do anything with or without his/her buddy.
7. Conduct orientation.  All participants – students, parents, teachers – should have an orientation before the Field Trip.  Guidelines, policies, itinerary, contact numbers in case of emergency should be thoroughly discussed.  A reply slip/waiver saying that the parent allowed his/her child to go must also be collected.
8. Process the event.  In the end, the whole trip should be processed and discussed.  The teachers should help gather from the students significant information and realizations from the trip.  This may turn out to be a very enriching experience for them; and a very rewarding one for the school.

We recently had our Parent-Teacher Conference (PTC) in school. This is a meeting between the parent and the teacher once a term to discuss the child’s academic performance, as well as his or her behavior in class. It is also known as the Card-Giving Day.

Students have mixed feelings about this day – some are excited and proud of their accomplishments; others are quite embarrassed and worried about what the teachers will reveal to their parents (and vice versa); and still, there are those that dread the day, knowing they’d have to face their not-so-pleased parents at home (for whatever reason).

There is not much difference between the students and the teachers. The teachers too, have mixed feelings. They are just as excited, couldn’t wait to tell parents about the accomplishments of their children. They are also worried – anticipating how parents would react to some of their revelations about the kids. And some, also dread the day, for some very delicate and serious matters that need to be discussed.

As for the parents, you would see fifty shades of them on this day. Over the years of talking and dealing with them, I have had a glimpse of the different faces they carry, esp. during PTC.

1. Grade Conscious Parents. These are the parents who are focused most on the academic standing of their children. Somehow, they already know where their kids are; but come to PTC for some kind of confirmation. The most conscientious of them even have their own computation of grades – with complete record of quizzes, seatwork and major exams! How could you blame them? They are usually the ones who closely monitor the children’s studies, probably studying on their own as well.
2. Values-Concerned Parents. There are also those that come particularly to ask me how the values of their children are developed. Although they also care about the grades, they believe that the behavior is usually the cause of a child’s performance. I will not forget one parent, whose child committed a major offense. She told me matter-of-factly, “Take my child out of the honor roll.” She did not care about the “honors”, but wanted her child to learn the lesson well.
3. Everything-Ok Parents. Teachers don’t mind having these kinds of parents. They are the pleasant and polite ones, who trust the teachers and the school to educate their children well. Even when there are problems, they are open and willing to cooperate for the benefit of the kids.
4. Meticulous Parents. Almost all aspects of school, the meticulous parents find something to comment about, especially if it concerns their chid. They are the best respondents to the school’s evaluation form because they rate everything; and often, have suggestions for improvement in each area.
5. No-Show Parents. Sadly, we also have parents who don’t show up. First goes to the category of the very very busy ones. No matter how much they want to come, circumstances prevent them to do so. Most of them try to find another time for the conference, or send someone to stand in for them. The other type of No-Show Parents are the very, very shy ones. (Yes, we do have that!) They are the ones who’d rather get letters than talk in person to the teachers. My mom is a little bit in this department. When I was in high school, she rarely talked to my teachers. Even when I was to be awarded with a trophy or a medal, she would always ask if it was necessary for her to be there, wherein I’d reply, Not really, leaving me the only student without a parent on stage. Not that it mattered, I knew she cared whether present or not.

There are actually more than 50 shades of being a parent. Some shades are very interesting; some we don’t want to come across. Parents are unique breeds of creatures. I salute all of them; because at the end of the day, you see the passion, pride and love for their children. This is what pushes them to be who they are. No matter how difficult, irrational, or exasperating a parent may become, when you mull over and think about where they’re coming from, you just can’t help but accept them, and love them anyway.

One of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions is “To Not Be Late”. The resolve is strong during this first month of the year, but it wanes as the year gets older.  Why it goes to the top of the list as a resolution is simple – because it is a perennial problem all over the universe, regardless of age or status.

In schools, where there are so many set deadlines, rules and structures, the issue of tardiness is very common.  It is not just a problem but usually the root of many problems:  Why did a student miss a lesson?  He was always late.  Why did the student’s grade go down?  His home works and projects are turned in late.   And so on…

One of my daily duties as principal is to see and talk to all students who are coming to school late.  Although reasons are usually the same – traffic, woke up late, did not prepare; there are just those with far more creative minds and interesting stories like neighbors of drivers dying, parents having super slow driving skills, and beds moving throughout the night.  No matter how entertained I get, in the end, I get seriously serious.  And students know how seriously serious I can get when it comes to tardiness.

Why is punctuality so important?    Punctuality is one reflection of a person’s character.  It shows respect one has for another.  It demonstrates concern; and gauges one’s sensitivity. Hence, a person who doesn’t value punctuality usually does not show respect, may be deemed as someone who doesn’t care and even insensitive.  People who are habitually late are almost never depended on by peers and heads.  They are never given important assignment for fear that they are not up to the job.

Fortunately, punctuality is a habit to be formed. Training starts early; and through years of practice, habit eventually becomes character. On the contrary, unfortunately, so is tardiness. If “being late” becomes habit, expect it to become one’s character.  That is why tardiness is one thing teachers and adults shouldn’t tolerate with kids. As early as grade school and high school, students should learn the value of punctuality or else it will stick to them like an incurable body odor.  If we allow them to take it for granted, if we make them feel being late is ok, then we also tell them not to care for other people.

How do we help kids develop punctuality? Here are 10 tips:

1. Acknowledge that you are a person who is having a hard time being punctual. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you’re in denial that it’s a problem at all. Admit that you need to build punctuality.
2. Understand the importance of being on time.
3. Be conscious of the time. Keep your watch accurate.
4. Wake up when you’re supposed to wake up. Don’t hit the snooze button, linger in bed, and watch TV at the very start of your day.
5. Commit yourself to being 15 minutes early for everything.
6. Keep organized. Plan ahead. Pick out your clothes the night before (don’t forget your underclothes and shoes!).
7. Communicate any problems. If your bus is always late or you have to take your little brother to school and it always makes you late, discuss this with the concerned people and do something about it.
8. Have a backup plan for your transportation. If you normally ride to school with a friend, think ahead and plan what to do if your friend gets sick.
9. Set your clocks forward by ten minutes. This is a dirty little psychological trick that many people play on themselves. The funny thing is, it really works
10. Lastly, (and this one is the most likely to motivate), come up with a consequence for yourself and/or others.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

My favorite story is that of a friend of mine who asked her son in preschool, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  In which he answered, “I want to be a Ninja!”  The proud mother was pleased, “Wow, you want to be a ninja to help and defend those in need?”  “No mom, gusto kong magnakaw.”

The message of the story, although absolutely amusing, is not really my point.  My point focuses on the honesty and innocence of the child regarding what he really wanted to be.  Yes, the child was misguided, perhaps due to influence of media and other external factors; but it doesn’t take away the fact he knew what he wanted to be, and was sure of the reason why.

Children have ambitions.  As early as pre-school, they dream of doing something or becoming someone.  This usually springs from personal interests, skills and abilities, or from people they see around, who later become their models.

Children have ambitions.  They figure it out on their own so it is best to encourage it. It is not advisable to dictate it.  My 3-year-old nephew delights in hammers, screw drivers, and nails more than any colorful toy.  The overly doting lola defends, “Maybe he will be an engineer someday.”  The lolo matter-of-factly replies, “If he wants to be a carpenter, so be it.”

It is very refreshing to hear answers from younger children about their dreams.  They want to be a teacher, a fireman, a police officer, a basketball player, an actress, a janitor. If we listen harder, these would develop into something worthwhile, because the first ingredient is there – they want it.

Contrary to this scenario is that of some students going to college.  It makes me sad when I ask a student what course he or she will take:  “Medicine.” “That’s nice,” I would excitedly reply.  “But teach, it’s not really what I like, but what my dad wants.”  Fortunate if that student makes it and later realizes it is indeed his/her calling.  However, it usually backfires. In just a year, they either flunk the subject or shift to a different course.

I look up to the parents of my best friend.  As both of them were hands-on parents, they knew what the interests and potentials each one of their 6 children had since they were young. They enriched these potentials by putting them to good schools and letting them go through workshops, specialized training, and lessons.  It has paid off.  All of them turned out successful in fields of their interests.  One of them was part of the Philippine team for Taekwondo and has put up his own school in the US; another is a multi-awarded chef in one of the best dining places in the country, and my best friend got to tour the world as a professional singer.

Parents should not only respect and accept what their kids want; they should also try to guide them towards what they love.  Many times, kids also have a hard time knowing what they really want.  They need us.  So talk to your child. Listen to their dreams.  Learn about what they like and what they do best.  Then support them.  Cultivate what is already there.  For sure, it will grow and bear fruits.

I visited my High School just recently and was able to talk to one of my best teachers, Sr. Marissa. She toured me around the campus – passing by classrooms that took me back in time, as we tried to catch up with stories of our lives. I learned that she is back to teaching (after years of re-assignment from convent to ministries to particular organizations); and teaching high school students again, like she did more than 20 years ago.

Towards the end of the tour, we ran into a group of students who respectfully greeted her. Later on, she would tell me how challenging the class was; which brought us to more reminiscing of the past about how our class behaved in high school – equally rowdy, but her “stare” would be enough to keep us quiet. This time, every time she does her “mean stare”, they just simply stare back (to her amusement). In general, she said, children have changed. “Iba na ngayon ang henerasyon.” How many times have we heard that before?

It is true. Each generation has a culture that evolves through time, sharpened or dulled by influences, events, mentalities, and/or pressure. In this evolution, the most hardly hit is the values. That is why people say that children today, our students, are “different”. But they could not really be compared to the children in our time. We know that. They know that. And they get that all the time, “During my time…”

Can we blame them? Not entirely. As educators, as teachers, as parents, we need to work together to help them strengthen their value system – respect, honesty, integrity, sensitivity, hard work, discipline, punctuality, generosity and so on… What are the values that they value? What are the values that we value?

Values formation is the hardest to teach, if it can be taught at all. There’s still an ongoing debate saying that values are not taught but acquired. Unlike in Math, where we have a specific answer for a specific problem, dealing with values is a lot more complicated. The problem is usually mixed with different variables, mostly unknown.

So then, what do we do? We collaborate. An African Proverb said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Both the home and the school are responsible for a child’s values formation. There should be consistency on what is taught and seen both at home and in school. No matter how hard a teacher pounds for a child to study harder; yet the child is allowed to watch television all night long, the value of discipline will not be acquired. If there are two opposing statements or actions, one encouraging to “Come on time,” and the other reassuring “It’s ok to be a little late,” then we’re in for a little trouble there.

Consistency is the key. Plus, the commitment to strive to be the best that we could be, in words and in actions (through positive examples), and to hope that our children catch it.

Easier said than done, I know. But nonetheless doable.

Students are generally afraid of principals.  Why won’t they be?  The ultimate recourse of teachers (and even parents, at times) when they feel helpless is “I’ll bring you to the Principal’s Office!”  I would know.  I was once a student too. The Principal’s Office seemed like a big dungeon to me where a 500-word homily is waiting to explode.  During my time, once you’ve been to the Principal’s Office (or “na-office), you have done a very very bad thing.

Through the years, the idea of a principal as a strict figure of authority has changed.  At least in my case, I would like to believe that.  Children come and go to my office at any time of the day for the most mundane concerns.  Teenage girls would pass by my office just to say hi; while some high school boys would drop by pretending to ask me about something important, even when I know that they’d simply want to use my room as a “cooling area” because of the air conditioning. J I also have a group of Grade 6 students who constantly sets an appointment with me for lunch.  And of course, my daily customers are the little ones, who never fail to amuse:  “Teacher, Julio said I am not his friend.” “Do you know I lost my tooth…” “Teacher! Teacher!  Sophia cut the grasses!” “Lance is not sharing the slide…” “But you’re also not sharing the monkey bars…” “It’s you!”  “No, it’s you.”  “Miss Donna, can I hug you?”

It is indeed healthy to have an environment of open communication and friendship.  I am happy that the students in school are free to voice out their feelings and issues directly to me, no matter how small or big.  Sometimes, even before a teacher reports to me or a parent calls, I would already know about it because of my “little spies” who bring news to me faster than LBC.

This kind of relationship with my students is probably so because I had been a teacher longer than a principal.  My heart really beats harder for them.  I believe it is a good thing.  In major decision making, I would always go back and ask the question, “Is this the best for the child?  Is this the best for the students?”  With these questions to guide me, how could I go wrong?

Being a principal or a school administrator (or any manager) demands a lot of work, time and self.  With all the different areas that need to be managed, people to talk to, events to coordinate, papers to check, and reports to finish, it is very easy to be drowned in the ocean of work, work, work.  It is very easy to lose focus.  It is very easy to forget why, in the first place, we are here.

That is why my doors are open to students who want to talk or simply hang out.  That is why I cherish the little encounters that I get with them.  They remind me why I am here… what my purpose is.  And suddenly, work becomes easier.  Life is more beautiful.